Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
