Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
