Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
