i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
