I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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