Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
