Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
did you just send me my own nude
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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