Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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