I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
