Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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