Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
