I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
