Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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