omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My vagina just recognized that song.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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