This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize