I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
