That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
