My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
