I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
