yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
