You're so nebulous sometimes
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
