They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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