Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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