yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
