I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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