We're like a lot better than the average bears
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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