Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Buhtt sex?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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