I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
