it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
4 words: hood of his car
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
