I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
