How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
