I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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