i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
