just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Shame - the story of my life.
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