His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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