I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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