shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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