I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
