I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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