Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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