We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
