I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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