either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize