Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
