Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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