Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
