bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
