the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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