he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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