Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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