New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize