Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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