HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
