Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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