I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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