The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
