I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
